I was not looking forwardto going back. If mum had her way I would be wearing the girls uniform."Andrew get your coat we are going to nan's house now."We left the house & as we took the 2 mile walk to my nan's house, I feltlike a death row inmate taking a walk to the gallows. I didn't know thatat the time as I was only 11, but thinking back I had this sense of dread.I just could not see anyway out of this, without upsetting a lot ofpeople. I have been, & am now a "peace maker". I put others before myself.Is that a feminine trait?My mum held my hand, she had not done that since I was 8!"I'm so glad you decided to be a girl, I think you will make a better girlthan your brother. We are going to have so much fun & I have so much toshow you." Why do I have to stay with nan for a week mum?"It is so you can learn to start to be a girl without your brothersaround. It will give you a chance to get used to it with your brothersdistracting you." What it they laugh at me." I started to well. “Do I have to spell it out for you? The tent, overnight, alone?”My jaw dropped. “You’re kidding me!”He shook his head, though with a fair amount of restraint in the movement.Flabbergasted, I cried, “No!” and then, “David!” and then “Do you want to?”We didn’t of course. The risk of being caught was simply too great. But we talked about it, a relief after so long.“What changed your mind?” I asked.“What changed yours?”“You did!” I said immediately, which made him uncomfortable. “I’m just surprised, is all. I thought that possibility was over forever.”“So did I,” he muttered. “But I’ve been thinking about it lately.”I never stopped thinking about it, but I didn’t say that.“Does it scare you?”“Of course it does,” I said.“But you’re willing to anyway?” he questioned.“I’ve always been willing, David. Since you know when.”He shifted uncomfortably. “What if Mom and Dad find out?”“They’ll kill us,” I said. “They always would have killed us, so it’s not like we’re risking anything new.” I.
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